|I had forgotten how funny this show use to be.
Subject: Hollywood Squares Questions
These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.. ;
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A.. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A.. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!
- 364,908 hits
“Please Donate To Help Us Stay Online”
- ‘Conditions of use
- Boudica Scoreboard / Alexis Ainsworth
- BPOV / Alexis Ainsworth
- “A BOUDICA POINT OF VIEW: Take No Prisoners” / Alexis Ainsworth
- “JULY 2011 UPDATE: ONE MORE SOROS SHOT ACROSS THE BOW: ‘NEWS OF THE WORLD GOES DOWN’. BSkyB IN DANGER OF MISCARRYING; BECK BELIEVES HIS MORMON GOD AVENGING NEWSCORP/FOX MISCARRY OF JUSTICE FOR COVERT SALE OF HIS HEAD TO SOROS!”
- “OBAMA’S ISRAEL ODYSSEY”: TALES OF 21ST C. ISLAMIC MYTHOLOGY Muslim hallucinations of supernatural power vs. the world’s only authentic superpower: ISRAEL
- “A ‘FAIR AND BALANCED’ TRILOGY’ “OPEN LETTER TO FOX / NEWSCORP: No More ‘Fair and Balanced’? ROGER AND RUPERT HAVE GONE POTTY AND DOTTY OVER OBAMA”
- “LIM, RUGER & KIM LLP + ADR SERVICES LOS ANGELES, HON. GREGORY C. O’BRIEN ARBITRATOR + MIN & DON CHAE vs. McCLELLAN & ASSOC. ARCHITECT = FRAUD – PLUS COUNTERFEIT LAWSUITS = MULTIPLE FRAUD
- “TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD REDUX” RACIAL BIAS IS BREAD AND BUTTER OF AMERICA’S ETHNO-CENTRIC LAW FIRMS
- “The Ballad of Fannie & Freddie goes Viral”, “FANNIE AND FREDDIE WERE LOVERS….until He cheated”: The story of the crash of 2008 in a real-life obituary”
- “NONSENSE, BOUDICA TAKES ON OBAMA – AND, THE TALKERS”
- “GLENN BECK MISSES THE POINT – AND THE LOCATION – OF ‘CRIME INC.’!”
- “TREASON AND SHROUD; IRAN ESCORTS OBAMA TO WORLD DICTATORSHIP THRU STRAITS OF 2012” Preface / Alexis Ainsworth
- “T&S Dreamers, Schemers & Reamers / Alexis Ainsworth
- 1. / “Letter to Obama”
- 2. / “Letter to Warren Buffett”
- 3. / “Letter to The Envy Class”
- 4. / “HOW JOHN ROBERTS RESET ‘OBAMACARE TO PUTINCARE’”/ LETTER TO J. ROBERTS CC: VLADIMIR PUTIN – PART I
- RT @RamCoban: If You Watch It Backwards.... angelstoldmeso.tinybytes.me/if-you-watch-i… 3 minutes ago
- State Dept. Refused Sandbags & Machine Gun at Benghazi Consulate- “It Would Upset the Neighbors” wp.me/pJweR-4JM via @DragonPatriot 7 hours ago
- Palestinian's Muslims chose Hamas. No sympathy here. The bastards are reaping what they have sown. Their blood is on their own hands. 10 hours ago
- RT @pinksugar61: Muslims Just Made History In Mosul, Killing And Exiling Every Last Christian universalfreepress.com/muslims-just-m… via @UFPnews 12 hours ago
- @Tweets4Pay I prefer call me when you get home. 12 hours ago
- Obama in Germany parade:
- Muslim girls in chains being led off to meet their new husbands via The Patriot
- Islam's war on Israel
- Redneck Mouse Trap - you have got to see this!!
- BPI reblog Daily Archives: July 21, 2014
- Fuck Mecca, Fuck Islam, I've had it!
- From America c2c 7/22/2014 # 1
- talk about bad luck. The same family that was killed in Syria by Assad, also killed by IDF bombing Gaza few days ago.
- Obama the banana man!
- Why Fears Of A Muslim Takeover Are All Wrong. Say What??
- Islam’s war on Israel
- The Noose Around Israel’s Neck via Joseph Wouk
- From America c2c 7/22/2014 # 1
- Sarah Palin – Western Conservative Summit – Denver, CO (FULL SPEECH)
- BPI random tweets Daily Archives: July 21, 2014
- BPI reblog Daily Archives: July 21, 2014
- Levin Calls Obama His Indonesian Name Barry Soetoro
- A little poem for the Socialist (oops – Democrat) Party.
- From America c2c 7/21/2014 # 1
- I do so solemnly swear…
- 2nd amendment 2012 election abortion American embassy attacks american freedom attorney general eric holder barack obama benghazi bloggers blogs BPI random tweets Daily Archives BPI reblog BPI reblog Daily Archives christians common sense communism congress constitution current-events democrats education egypt From America c2c god gun control gun rights hillary clinton humor iran iraq islam israel jihad jodi miller lesbians gays bisexuals transgenders liberals libya mark levin michelle obama middle-east middle east mitt romney muhammad muslim brotherhood muslims News Busted newt gingrich obama obamacare obama communist obama failed policies Obama liar pamela geller personal liberty politics reblog republicans right to bear arms RINO's russia satire sharia Syria terrorism tweets twitter tyranny us military video vladimir putin wayne allyn root whatever happen to common sense Wild Bill for America www youtube youtube
- 2012 elections Allah al quaeda America Barack Obama Biden Caliphate Communist Congress cults Democrat Democratic Party freedom government government corruption government deception government failure Hamas Iran Islam Islamist Israel Jihad jihadists liberal liberty middle east Muhammad Muslims Obama Obama Administration Obamacare Obamunism Pelosi politicians President Obama Reid Republican Sharia law socialism stealth jihad terrorism threats tyranny Uncategorized USA US Constitution war War on Terror War with Islam