Q. What is an economic
A. It is money the federal
government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the
government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is
giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of
A. The plan is for you to use
the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that
stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up!
Now, some helpful advice on how best to help the
U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check
If you spend the stimulus money at
Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your
money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will
go to India.
If you purchase fruit and
vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
If you buy a car, it will go to
Japan or Korea.
If you purchase useless stuff, it
will go to Taiwan.
If you pay off your credit cards
off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and be
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales;
2. Going to ball games;
3. Spending it on prostitutes;
4. Buying beer; or
5. Getting tattoos.
These are the only American businesses still operating in
Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed
prostitute you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
Think about it. This makes as much sense as what our academic, intellectual, morons self proclaiming themselves “leaders” that are dreaming up this BS are doing.