Breaking News…The real story on Iran’s attack on US drone!

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This was a spontanious protest, caused by the fact that this infidel drone flew over a minaret.
We all know, that any infidel object, fling over a minaret, is a massive and grave insult to all muslims.
The president apologized for this reckless and offensive action:
“The US military has nothing to with it and neither condones it such reckless actions.
The drone decided autonomously to fly over the minaret.
I stress that the US-military does not tolerate such actions and I ordered today, that our military issues immediate regulations to prevent such offenses from ever happening again.
Today I personally ordered, that all manned and unmanned aircraft in our military will be fitted with a new automatic course correction system witch alters the course of the aircraft so that it will not fly over minarets. No pilot or operator will be able to override this automatic system.
In the meantime I reach out to the muslim world, to provide us with accurate maps of all minarets in the world.
I ordered the US-military to work with the OIC to produce such maps. All necessary funding will be provided by us.
Furthermore I ordered that NASA calculates the orbits of future satellites in such a manner that they do not overfly minarets.
The orbits of existing satellites will be corrected, if possible.
In case, the orbit of a satellite cannot be corrected, the satellite will be brought down in a controlled fashion or destroyed in the higher atmosphere.
I want to reiterate our profound respect for the religion of islam and the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) and I want to say to all muslims: salam aleikum.”

As our Washington sources have learned today, the operator flying the drone was arrested yesterday.
Defense department officials have denied that this has anything to do with the recent incident.
A speaker of the dense department issued today the following statement: “As we have learned three days ago, the person who operated the drone has committed a massive violation of army regulations for the protection of the environment. He was witnessed flying a drone over an unnecessary amount of time, circling for hours over a target without getting the permission every five minutes. Thus he commited an intolerable crime against the environment by producing excessive amounts of carbon dioxide. The department takes the protection of the environment very seriously. I just want to point out the recent establishment of the after-combat-clearing-units whose job is to collect all lead bullets lying around in an area of operations.”

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