A look at the future Year 2059

Via an email from my cousin Oliver

Year 2059

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:  2059


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. 

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. 

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 

Baby conceived naturally!  Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off;  physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before  radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.  No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at  age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will  run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having  trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what….NOTHING will  happen.  No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile
I Love This Country!

It’s The Government That  Scares Me!
Stop organized  crime. Re-elect no one.

NOT CONFIRMED BY SNOPES.

Guns have  only two enemies; rust and  politicians.

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3 Responses to A look at the future Year 2059

  1. Ken Wanner says:

    2059 will never come in this setting of earth! Christ will come at least 30 years before then. give or take a few

  2. Gunny G says:

    Reblogged this on NOW BLOG THIS! ~ GUNNY.G: AMERICAN ! and commented:
    GyG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. genomega1 says:

    Reblogged this on News You May Have Missed and commented:
    A look at the future Year 2059

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